The Man Behind The Curtain

This list will cover anything from college dorm room situations, to showering at a friends house, or within your own parents house. Some of these situations may be from experience, some may be 2nd hand situations. There is certainly an endless amount of experiences that can happen in a shower, and not that you perverts!

Fun Fact: The brainstorming (almost literally) for this blog actually took place while I was showering at home, go figure. It's true, you don't have to check snapple.com to find that out.

8. Upon entering the shower, you realize the Dove soap you've bought wasn't soap at all. It was in fact Dove chocolate. Be warned, using Dove chocolate as soap, does not make you look like Denzel Washington in the slightest.

7. I will have to give my 12th grade economics teacher Mr. Kerr credit for this next one. While in college we played a little prank on the females on floor 3 in our hall. We took jolly ranchers candies and placed them in the shower heads. The girls preceded to take there usual burn victim temperature showers, and instead of feeling refreshed, had a lovely layer of stickiness on them.

How's that for receiving an edumacation?

6. So you've just got done with working out at the gym, you go into the locker room to take a nice shower, and boom! Man ass all up in your face, you are obviously pretty turned off by this site, well most of you anyway. The only thing worse than this site, is when you find out it's an old Asian man. Following that he proceeds to turn around showing off his egg roll and dumplings. Locker rooms should have some type of warning like roller coasters on them.

"Warning if you have heart problems, or very good vision, be careful when entering this area. Ass, and Balls may be seen causing nausea, shortness of breath, heart pains, and may cause blindness"

5. You are getting ready for a nice shower to feel refreshed, you enter the shower and in the middle of it you realize "Crap I forgot a towel". This situation usually happens while at a friends house, or in a dorm. You then carefully plan your course of action according, and do a quick check list in your head.

1. Was there anyone home?
2. Should I put my clothes back on fast?
3. Maybe if I run out to the hall closet fast no one will see me.

This one usually doesn't end well in most cases, and ultimately there is some sort of embarrassing moment between a friend, or his family member.

4. It's a perfect day, everything is going right and your ready to get that mid day shower in to boost your day. Your in the shower, naked as the day you were born loving life. All of a sudden out of the corner of your eye you see Henry. Who is Henry you ask? Henry is that spider you saw 2 nights before and didn't catch. Usually spiders are only somewhat creepy when your fully clothed, but now that you are naked and feeling completely vulnerable he is one scary mofo. You go in full on panic mode. You quickly do absolutely nothing, as your standing in the corner opposite of him scared to move. Finally after you realize what a little woman your being you muster up enough courage to exit the shower, get a towel on. You then think about all the ways your gonna smash this little bastard, and then go get your mom to do it.

Nice job wimping out, you Nancy.

3. You just washed up and you reach for the shampoo on your window sill ledge. You squirt some shampoo in your hand and start to rub it in your hair. Your starting to think "this shampoo is quite pungent". Then all of sudden you remember your Dad warning you "Don't use the shampoo in the clear bottle, it's my hair dye". After the awful odor coming off the "shampoo" just used wakes up your brain function, you furiously start to scrub and wash out the dye. Upon exiting the shower, you look in the mirror and realize you now have jet black hair, and look like Antonio Banderas from "Desparado".

2. You're having a good ole time in the shower, taking one of those long relaxing ones you only read about in books. All of a sudden you take a wrong step, and the little chunk of soap that had chipped off your bar causes a slip. This isn't just any little slip though, you hit the deck like Frazier when he fought Ali. After you wake up, you realize you had just got KO'd by the bathtub, and have to think of a really good story to explain the huge welt on the side of your cheek.

1. This is probably mostly any guy or ever girls nightmare situation. You are at your significant others house, and decide you're gonna take a shower together. I mean, why not no one is home, and you figure it's a fun thing to do. You put on some music in the bathroom, and start the fun little shower. I'm gonna take the guys perspective here, being as I am one. You're just showering, and all of a sudden over the music you think you hear something. You turn to your girl, and ask "Did you hear that?". She just replies with a "No stop being crazy and paranoid". You continue showering after lowering the music, since you are in fact paranoid. Then another noise is heard, and you know your not going crazy at this time. All of a sudden a loud noise is heard. (Knock, Knock) She quickly states "I'm in the shower" but this doesn't stop the angry bear from entering den. The person proceeds to enter the bathroom, and rip open the shower curtain. There you stand, covering your twig and berries with both hands, behind his daughter who right in front of you. The angry Dad states over and over "Get out and get dressed, now" in a very stern voice that sounds more like a lion's roar. As if getting caught in the shower wasn't bad enough, he than sits you down and plays the most uncomfortable 20 questions game in your life.

This is the part where you share your own experiences, and comments. Don't be shy, and if your really embarassed you can just put the entry as anonymous.